As most know, I have little to no faith in the human race as a whole, so know that this is not directed towards anyone. Just me expressing some curiosities.
So as you know, friend-zoning is the phenomenon that happens when two people are friends for a long time, and when one pops in with the idea of getting serious, he/she gets turned down because he/she is "a nice guy but just a friend." The one friend-zoned is labeled as pathetic by society, while the one friend-zoning is labeled a shallow person for not liking the "nice guy."
One thing this made me think about is the person who gets labeled the terrible person for not liking the nice guy. For these purposes, I'll use she, since the media generally portrays friend-zoning as a phenomenon of heterosexual relationships in which the girl is doing the friend-zoning. From what I can tell, during the friending process, she's labeled a sensible person for being friends with such a great guy, but as soon as she confesses that she doesn't have romantic feelings for him, she's suddenly some heartless person that's playing with people's feelings. Suddenly she's viewed as "not worth it" by the guy's friends, when just before the confession, all of them loved her. To the guy, she's becomes a bitch when she was once worth doing anything for. Am I the only one who has seen this or is this actually rare?
It makes me wonder why her value has suddenly decreased because she doesn't think of her friend romantically or doesn't want to get serious. Sure, they have a lot in common, like a lot of the same things, spend a lot of time together, etc. They should if they're friends in the first place. So just because the guy is interested, she's supposed to be as well; and if not, she's worthless? Was she actually setting out to deceive him or are there just a lot of butt-hurt feelings floating around?
I feel like it should be okay for the two of them to be close, for her to be able to not have romantic feelings for him, and it not decrease the value of either of them. She can be funny and awesome to hang out with. He can be cute and smart and charming. She can still not be interested, and that should be okay, right? It should be fine for both of them to be total catches and one not be interested in the other, shouldn't it? Or am I just silly for assuming that a girl should get a say in the matter?
On a tangent, I feel like it's crap to become friends a person with the interest of becoming more with them, especially if you don't tell them about your schemes. I feel like to do so is deceiving, and I feel like it's legit to turn that kind of thing down. It's a terrible method of persuasion that most definitely will lead to this phenomenon. People should be friends to be friends, and if it becomes something more than that, my above rant applies. If you want a relationship, it should be stated out front. Guess I'm a sucker for efficiency, but I just get so sick of people tip-toeing around each other, wondering why nothing is happening they way they want it to. I've got a secret: no one is gonna know for absolute certain that you like them, unless you tell them. Mind = blown. There's too much asking each others friends, trying to judge from across the room, peaking from the corner of your eye going on to get anything done. The quickest way to figure out if someone likes you is to ask. The quickest way to get your feelings across is to say them.
"But, Deer-Skunk," you might say, "what happens if they don't like me back?"
Nothing, until you make a decision. You can choose to do nothing, at which point you existence goes on exactly as it was going, and you're no worse off than before but for a shot to the self-esteem. Or, you can choose to attempt to woo said person. If he/she still says no, move on and your existence goes on exactly as it was going, and you're no worse off than before but for a few shots to the self-esteem. If he/she says yes, huzzah, you've accomplished your goal. Congratulations.
On an even farther tangent, there is a commercial out now for some toothpaste where a girl sees a guy she likes and instantly begins picturing her future house, two cars, 2.5 kids and dog. That commercial makes me mad. She knows nothing about this guy, except that he's pretty. Call me old-fashioned (and a little feminist, I guess), but I see this as an insult. Don't get me wrong, it's fine to assess the guys appearance. I just hope most women would attempt to hold a conversation with this guy before she begins picturing their kids together. You know, find out if you could even foster a friendship with this guy, let alone a marriage.
Guh, I think as a whole I'm just tired of people being people. It happens. I realize I'm ranting a lot here. It may not make sense. I'm tempted to not even see if it flows....feeling lazy. Thoughts on any of it?
Also sorry, pony memes are good for this. I will publicly state that I am not a bronie, though I do enjoy the show. There, I said it. Lauren Faust, you're awesome!
Come at me, bro.
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